I know this means something.

I once heard in a not-so-popular song the lyric

and I never share my thoughts 'cuz that's all a n**** knows.

To put a spin on it, the only thing that I am certain of is how I feel about something. The feelings that you have for something or someone can mean everything. There are so many people, teenagers especially, that put up the front that they don't care what other people think and have no feelings for anything but I highly doubt that to be the case. The way somebody feels means something to me. Feelings are the only true validation that I can have about a situation because in the end words are just words and you can lie with them, but you can't deny the feelings you have. The thought that the way I feel about a person is definite, even though I might not be able to verbalize those feelings is amazing to me.

I know that something is important to me if I feel that it is. It doesn't matter how many people tell me that I should feel a different way than I do and I can lie and say that I feel a certain way but that doesn't change they way that I actually feel about it. I think everything we do is subconsciously based off of feeling whether we acknowledge it or not and that is a truly powerful thing.

Who am I thankful for...

Ask anyone who they're thankful for and you'll probably get a spew of answers ranging from family to best friends, but that's not the question. You're asking me who I'm thankful for in my 5th period philosophy class. The class where I'm probably the most silent.

Don't mistake my silence for lack of appreciation. The reason I don't speak very much is (aside from the fact that philosophy is a class that constantly causes my thoughts and opinions to change therefore making it difficult to verbalize on a large scale) I am quiet because I am listening to what everyone has to say. While I do admittedly sometimes find myself staring out the window or aimlessly gazing at either side of the room, I am always taking into consideration what the discussion participants are saying. I'm learning from them the same way that I learn from any other certified teacher.

I have a certain admiration for those in my class who openly speak up and stand up for their ideas. We have students like Steve, Josh, Artem, Sydney, Jack and Max among others who aren't afraid to say what they have to say with no fears of rebuttle. So thank you guys. Even though it happens silently, you are opening all types of intellectual doors in my head.

If Voltaire and Camus could vote...

With the presidential election of 2012 being just days away and my excitement to cast my first ballot, questions of whom people from the past would vote for tend to surface. In this class we've read pieces by Voltaire and Camus, both writers who wrote pieces to make a specific point. Who would they vote for?

In reality voting is an American right, but people don't always exercise this right. In my opinion, even if Camus had the opportunity to vote in an election I don't think he would. In The Stranger Camus speaks on the topic of the absurd and the question "does our life have meaning?". I don't think Camus would vote because to him our voice doesn't matter. He paints the picture of our character Mersault that gives me the image of a man with no feelings. Why should it matter who I vote for? I don't care.

Looking at Voltaire, I don't think he would vote in this election or any election. From reading Candide we see that Voltaire is very humorous and he pokes fun at authority figures from priests to lords. If there was a way to vote in order to prove a satirical point that the American people are absurd for choosing either candidate, that would be the route I would take.

Sidenote: I'm voting democratic in the upcoming election, so to choose a side that is "ridiculous" from an outside stand point would be unfair (as in my point with Voltaire) but I believe that both of these men would opt to not vote based on their works that I've read.

Our meaning...

What are we living for? What drives our actions everyday?

I think about this all the time, especially now since I am preparing myself to take control of my own life and go off to college. People are constantly asking me what I want to major in or what I want to be in the future. The reactions that I get when I tell people I want to be a dancer vary from shock to confusion. The follow-up question is typically "What do you want to do after that?" and the awkward silence commences. I have always been told that I should want to study something "practical" so I could make money. That is society's standard. In a sense, society wants people live to be successful.

I, on the other hand, think people should live to be happy. The likelihood of each one of us impacting a large enough mass of people to create a true legacy is slim to none so essentially it's as if we didn't exist. In the end it doesn't matter who's approval you get about anything because in the end if it makes you happy that is all that really matters. Who's to say that what you're doing isn't satisfactory when you think it is? Everyone has the liberty to have their own thoughts and ideas as well as to do as they please (at least in this country). Realistically, our country has to be based on some rules and standards to maintain chaos and as long as you're doing something ethical that makes you happy, then there is nothing wrong with that.

We're living to be happy and content. We're willing to live in a way to make the most out of the life that we live and that may vary from person to person but that doesn't make someone wrong. Everyone should strive to be happy. That's what drives our actions everyday.